In what I hope to make an annual event, herewith are my predictions for the new year:
1. Dr. Fauci catches the Chinese Corona virus while partying at New York’s Times Square on New Year’s Eve. He takes Hydroxychloroquine and recovers in two days.
2. Kamala Harris becomes President when Joe Biden is found dead in the Oval office. Apparently, one of his aides told him to go sit in the corner, and he wandered round and round trying to find a corner until his heart gave out.
3. President Kamala Harris nominates Hillary Clinton to be Vice President. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi resigns, saying “if I can’t be Vice President, I don’t want to be just speaker of the House”. She is succeeded by AOC and Clinton’s nomination is approved by the House.
4. California, Illinois and New York file for bankruptcy. President Kamala Harris promises to bail them out, then realizes the US is also bankrupt and asks the other 47 states to bail out the federal government. They refuse.
5. The US dollar collapses, followed quickly by the Euro, the Yen, the Yuan and all other major currencies. Amazon Gift Cards become the preferred currency du jour.
6. Bitcoin fails because the inventor of Bitcoin opens a “back door” he included in the software and absconds with all of the money.
7. Perpetual failed candidate Beto O’Rourke is appointed “Gun Czar” by President Harris, but his tenure is short lived when he unfortunately dies from a self-inflicted wound when he accidentally shoots himself with a confiscated AK-47, not realizing that the gun was still loaded after he removed the “clip”.
8. President Harris forms a new department – the Department of National Information Integrity – and appoints he CEOs of CNN, MSNBC, Facebook, Twitter and Google as co-czars.
9. President Harris pardons Hunter Biden of all past, present and future crimes, on the condition that she gets 25% of all proceeds from his business ventures.
10. Hillary Clinton becomes President when Kamala Harris is found dead in her bedroom in the White House with three bullet wounds in the back of her head. After an intense investigation, her death is ruled a suicide.
11. President Hillary Clinton nominates Michelle Obama to be Vice President. Her nomination is in doubt, but is narrowly approved when RINOs Liz Cheney and Adam Kinzinger vote with the Democrats.
12. In a seven to six decision, the newly expanded Supreme Court rules that Donald Trump was the rightful winner of the 2020 Presidential Election, but also rules that since Joe Biden is no longer President, it is too late to do anything about it. The ruling becomes known as the “Corpus Electi Conundrum”.
Disclaimer: For those who do not understand political satire, please be advised these predictions are provided for entertainment purposes only and do not reflect any advance knowledge of actual events.
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